Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Jungle Mind - Where's that Machete?

My thoughts have been such a jumbled mess that I'm not so sure I know which way is up anymore.

I went for a walk yesterday and listened to the Pastor's Roundtable on Issues, Etc.  It was about the Parable of the Mustard Seed and the Seed Growing.  It made me think about my role as a parent and how, like a pastor, I can't guarantee an outcome.  So, maybe I should try to remember to do my job and drink a beer.

I went for that walk because I needed that walk.  The sweat, the ache in the muscles.  The being out of the house alone with what I wanted to listen too.  I've been eating way too many carbs lately and I'm beginning to think that, for me, it shows up in my inability to have hope.  Will try to see if this guess is accurate as I watch more closely what goes into my pie-hole.

Speaking of pie - I made four strawberry pies this year.  I didn't freeze a single berry, nor make any jam.  The day we planned to go, we arrived at the field shortly after 6am and found the farm had received 4 inches of rain the night before and the neighbor's culvert broke and was also flooding the field.  This in addition to the 6 (?) inches of rain they received a week earlier.  I feel so bad for that family.  This is their lively-hood and this was the peak harvest time.  They graciously gave us some berries from the cooler that were picked two days earlier.  And so I made pie.

Do any of you feel like you can't control your own days anymore?  That this, that, and the other thing, all converge and conspire to trap you into obligations and responsibilities you can't say no to?  And for those shaking their heads, saying, "Yeah I remember that."  Is this just another stage in the game of life, and if so how long should I look for it to last?

I thought there was more to write, but well that jumbled mess became too tangled to make my way through.


Rhonda said...

I have always had a hard time saying no. And, yes, I "work well under pressure". But as I get older, I realize I don't have to. I have nothing to prove any more. I have started turning people down and doing what I enjoy. Also when I am under too much pressure, I am not a very nice person...just saying. I function better when my mind is not a jungle so I try to keep it clear.

Elephantschild said...

"Jungle mind" is a very good way to describe my brain on carbs. I panic easier. I'm more ADHD (for lack of a better way to describe it.) I can't see the forest for the trees and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Hold the course; it will pass. You're also readjusting to normal after the trip of a lifetime; cut yourself some slack. It's normal for it to take longer than you think to readjust after international travel!